Tag Archive: Stanley Cup

Hi, Im a Grade A Douche, but not as much as the Marketing Department at NBCSports.com

 I am a huge hockey fan. Maybe it was spending my childhood in cold weather climates (Flagstaff and Buffalo), maybe its the speed of the game, maybe its the almost uniform humility of hockey players (save for a few douche bags) or maybe its because I have a tendency toward physical violence (which I believe is my dads theory).  Either way, I have doggedly supported and followed hockey on a whole for the better part of 10 years.

In 2003 I was a season ticket holder for the Nashville Predators.  During the lock-out I satisfied my desire with AHL, IIHC and the Frozen Four. In 2005 when I became a full-time traveling consultant I bought a Slingbox and subscribed to NHL Center Ice.  When I officially became homeless in 2007 I shared the cost of a fiber internet connection, NHL Center Ice and NHL Network with a friend so I didnt have to compete with the avid professional horseshoe fans at bars when I wanted to watch hockey (they would always win).  In 2008 I traveled to Stockholm to watch the Pittsburg Penguins play the Ottawa Senators and wasnt deterred even after a snub by Crosby and goons at the hotel bar when I wished them “good luck tomorrow”.  And when they introduced the online NHL GameCenter Live subscription service that allows you to watch non-blacked-out games (thats key here cause coverage was spotty at best) I shelled out the $180 and didnt complain when I moved to Indonesia and couldnt use the service because of licencing regulations. For the past 5 years Ive had an ongoing Fantasy Hockey League with friends a former colleagues.

So here I am in Indonesia, constantly battling at the bars over the Australian rules football, futbol, Formula 1 racing, cricket and even profession drifting, to see Stanley Cup playoff games!!!!! I avoid news services all day so I can enjoy my hockey with beer and spring rolls at night, sometimes with friends but mostly by myself.

For the most part my teams never make it out of the first round (Buffalo Sabers and Nashville Predators). So I always adopt a team. This year the Philadelphia Fliers were my team and what a great run (I lived there for a year so thats my excuse). Great drama, excellent games, epic finishes

So here I am tonight with Philly facing elimination is game 6 of the best of 7.  Hoping for just one more game if Philly wins.  At the end of the 1st period its tied up and Philly is looking good, not great but they had a solid finish to the period and Im feeling optimistic.


Ive always loved the NBC coverage of the NHL. After the lockout ESPN dropped NHL coverage, which just exacerbated the above mentioned efforts to see a game in a public place or hotel. The announcers are more educated, the coverage and audio is far better than Verses (i guess if they cant have a camera on a moped they dont know what to do)  and their pre and post game coverage is far more extensive.

At the end of the 1st I get an email. The subject is “Shop Blackhawks Championship….”.  WTF!!!!!!!!!! I have unsubscribed to their useless dribble so many times and yet they constantly send me their crap time after time.  I would love to send an email telling them exactly what I think of them but I know the only emails that get their attention are probably fans of professional lawn bowling and womens volleyball fans.

I just wanted to say thank you NBCSports.com for ruining the Stanley Cup playoffs for me. I hope your website gets attacked by Chinese hackers that replace your home page with pictures of Marv Albert having sex with a donkey.


It turned out to be a great game.  Midway through the 3rd period my friend called and said “Sorry about overtime”, so I guess I was just destined to have the game ruined for me.  I still hate NBCSports.com and but I forgive you Robert, you were just a part of a greater destiny I guess. I have to say, even though I was depressed about the outcome, I still cant help but smile watching Gary Bettman get booed when handing out the Conn Smyth and the Stanley Cup as well as seeing some of the old-timers finally get to hoist the Cup. Cant wait for next season.

For instance, Slavic people don’t like to smile in photos:

Belarus Winter Olympians – Maybe 4 but 3 of those aren’t so much a smile as it is a stretching of the mouth and at least 3 of the guys look like they killed the photographer right afterwards

UkrainianWinter Olympians – 5 and that’s being generous (Lada looks like she twitched before her picture)

Kazakhstan Winter Olympians – Wow, that’s a grand total of 0

Georgian Winter Olympians – I’ll give it 1 cause Nina really gave it the old Georgian try.

But I feel like the only reason Stefan is any good at Alpine Skiing is because he was one of the guys chasing James Bond down the mountain with a rifle at the beginning of The Spy Who Loved Me


James Bond movies always baffled me. This scene in particular:

  1. Why is the worlds greatest agent wearing a yellow ski suit with orange boots? Isnt that counter productive for an undercover spy?
  2. Why do the Russian agents speak with an English accent, did they go to Oxford?
  3. Whats up with the one moron with a pistol? When he was preparing for this ill-conceived ambush and he had his choice of the KGB arsenal did he think that a snub-nosed pistol would be the most effective?  I mean really, youre skiing 3 meters behind him. Shotgun would be much more productive
  4. The rifles sure do make a lot of noise for having a silencer on them

Ok and now for the Slavics cheery counterparts.  Im gunna skip showing the Americans because its obvious we are always happy.  I mean we invented drive-through/fast food restaurant, the nuclear bomb and modernized porn.  Whats there not to be happy about?  So let’s go with some less obviously happy nations, like…..

Norwiegen Winter Olympians – Ive been there, theres no reason for them to be happy unless you like your food over-salted and pickled fish.

Italian Winter Olympians – Ive always said that Italy would be great if there werent any Italians but this group looks a lot more cheery than the “WOPs” I dealt with.

Canadian Winter Olympians – Canadas happiness can be gauged by their success in hockey.  While two Olympic gold medals in the past decade is all fine and good, Lord Stanley’s cup has been absent for the past 2 decades (0k 17 years to be exact), along with the loss of an NHL team in Quebec City, Winnipeg and Hamilton. Theres really no reason for them to be happy.